Shacking Up: The Bad

Part One: The Bad

As a teenager my mother always warned me about the dangers of shacking up. I would sigh and roll my eyes because what I heard was ” Don’t have fun Michelle”. She would warn me of the dangers of meeting men online. Again I’d sigh and roll my eyes. I knew what I was doing…I thought. I wanted a chance to live my life and make my own mistakes. At the time I didn’t know that from the Fall of 2006 to the Spring of 2008 I would have been sitting in an apartment 250 mile away from my mother wishing I had listened. My abuser was a nice enough guy when we met, he was older, had a job, his own place, and a car. To 18-year-old me that was impressive. He seemed to care about me and he said he loved me so 2 months into the relationship when he asked me to move in with him, I jumped at the opportunity. October 2006 I moved in with the guy I met online. To a city I had never been to and where I knew no one. The first month was nice! He got me a job at the same place where he was employed and bought me a cellphone so that I could call my family and friends back home. He even proposed. It was great. Late November is when things began to change. I found out that I was pregnant. I thought he’d be happy, we had discussed starting a family and he was already in his late 20’s at the time. I started seeing changes in his mood after a while. He would be cranky and short with me. Sometimes he’d get this look in his eyes that scared me to death. First came the yelling, name calling, and belittling. “He’s just stressed because we have a baby coming.” Id tell myself. Next came the requests that I get an abortion. I refused and soon the verbal abuse became physical. There would be violent verbal outbursts over things like a dirty dish left in the sink or me oversleeping and missing a call from him. Everything that went wrong in his life was my fault in his eyes and he showed his disapproval with punches and kicks. Throughout the pregnancy he kept me away from his family and friends because he didn’t want anyone to know. I wasn’t allowed to go to doctors appointments or get any prenatal care. It’s a miracle that my daughter came out healthy. After all this you’d think I’d be fed up enough to leave. Nope. I had gone directly against my parents wishes when I decided to go shack up with this man, I didn’t think I was welcomed back home so I stayed. The abuse continued and the cheating started. I’d call him to ask him to bring me something to eat when he came home from being out with friends and hear the other female talking in the background. The abuse continued. When my daughter was about 7 months old I found out I was pregnant again. The request for an abortion came again along with ” I didn’t even want the first one.” I stayed for another 3 months. I remember the day I decided that I was done. He  was about to leave for work and we got into an argument and he swung at me while I was holding my daughter. The force of the blow landed on my forehead but his hand grazed my daughters head also. He took my child out of my arms and put her on the couch and continued beating me. I remember holding my stomach to protect it from the blows. He grabbed me around the throat and began to squeeze. The next think I remember is waking up on the bedroom floor. He was gone and my daughter was crying in the livingroom. I dead bolted the door and called my dad. I was done. I texted him and told him that I was leaving. My family came and got me that night shortly after he came home from work begging, pleading, and crying for me to stay. I left and didnt look back.

Now I’m shacking up again…

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7 thoughts on “Shacking Up: The Bad

  1. tvelicia says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I was so moved when I read it yesterday that somehow I couldn’t find the words to respond. I’m glad you got out of that situation and went on with your life. I hope and pray that you are truly happy now.

    Like

  2. S-Badu says:

    Wow, your story is similar to mine. It’s not fun learning the hard way but am so glad you left. Focus on your future and your children and things will work out. I have 3 beautiful children from that situationship and that I don’t regret. There is life after abuse if you choose to move forward and change your life. What helped me was closing my legs and working on me. Best wishes ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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